My attitude isn’t horrible any more, I’m pretty sure I can say good things about what is happing around me. Yet I still, too often, wish I could (or maybe would) make a short list of people I ever cared to hear from again. Then Packed my things, and departed for some distant place. Change my phone number, leave no forwarding address, and find a new IM alias. I can’t abandon my email, at least not easily, but that one is easily filtered or ignored.
Then I start over. I choose my friends for those who are supportive. Not those who look for flaws so they can expose them and poke at them. Those who are caring, not those who are critical. My cynicism and attitude drew me to some of these people, but I no longer need or want them.
I would find a new job, and not mix it with my social life. Keep things strictly professional. I would make friends who would treat me as they would like to be treated. Honest, caring, open.
I would leave all this anger behind. This anger doesn’t suit me. Feeling like a victim doesn’t suit me. I’m not sure such obtuse writing suites me either.
